The Beltholes met in a dusky, musty quarry back in 1977 in Liverpool, Washington (Burg of BellingHam, King Boy George Harrison III). Since none of them knew how to play the guitar, they listened to Roy Orbison, the Jackson 5, and Dusty's Buffalo Springfield and the MC5 (Matt "Hot Carl" Carlson's band) to name a few. Kwab Copeland, with his striking good looking medieval chin and beard (at age 10), met a gangly skinny-boned lad, named after himself by a Baron named Andrew Church, thereby forming a friendship who was never one to complain. They found an obsequious transient named Frederick Speakman busking in a Downtown Tacoma Subway, playing Heart songs for free chicken livers from Butcher Bob, who ran a loin shop up the arsehole from the Subway. Previous incarnates of the group proved to be preliminary, with various names, such as The Tweedle Dees, The Tweedle Dumbs, The Drool Church, The Druid Church, The Wild Kalamabraskan Ramblers, The Gold Beltholes, The Brassholes, The Tijuana Brassholes... then The Silver Beltholes... and finally — The Beltholes was decided upon, during their month long residency at the Scar Club in Bellinghamburg. The rest was history and world-wide domination.
Flash ahead to 1999. Original Drummer Brooke Best O'Shea pounded the skins permanently until 2006, when she became a ward of the court (plans to break her out of confinement have yet to be announced, please stay tuned). A series of influential psychedelic albums followed... "Beat The Meltholes", "Revolter", "Rubber Chicken", "Rubber Filet of Sole", "In a Pasture Built for Sgt. Major's Lonely Harps Club Sandwich", "Beltholes For Sale (One Day Only)", "Let It Be B.B. King", "The Shite Album", and their supposed swan song "Crabbey Load".
Flash ahead to 2006 and onward... The Beltholes found a permanent addition to the band, Sir Anthony Herman "Mothboy" Clementi who insists on playing the Bass Guitar (Andrew Church was since picked up by the cops for also playing the bass guitar).
Flash ahead to 2007 and onward (as in uh the fuuuture) the legendarily mysterious guitar-player and button-pusher Kurt Bloch has joined The Beltholes and will propel them forth and onwardly... |
